So this is the “About Me” Section and I’m feeling grateful that you’re taking the time to actually read something about me. It’s kind of hard to write about yourself (because where are you gonna start and finish?) but I’ll just give it a go and write whatever wants to come through me right now.
Music. I’ve been making music probably most of my life in some way and I’m very happy to say I come from a pretty musical family. That’s probably why I’ve always been around music, people singing (especially at our family gatherings) and harmonizing and making music on different instruments. Music for me really is an incredible way to share and express my inner world with the rest of the world and I am amazed again and again on music’s capacity of transporting frequencies, on a physical but also on an emotional level. You can listen to a song today that you kept on repeat in the bus going on the school’s skiing trip when you were 13 and you’re immediately back there, you’re actually FEELING the way you were feeling then. The joy, the freedom, the lightheartedness and also the massive insecurities or the mix of feelings you had for your crush back then. It’s amazing. Music is a way of connecting people and that is why I love it so much, and because the simple act of writing, performing and consuming music brings me a lot of joy.
But to be honest, I didn’t always have this outlook on music and the way it brings value to my life. There have been times where I cursed music and my connection to it, because I thought that I have to be “a success” (whatever that means) and land the worlds No. 1 song and the reality looked a lot different. As a musician you put a lot of heart, energy and passion into your projects and when they are finished you share them with the world in some kind of way, making yourself vulnerable to whatever comes back to you. And if you are doing this with the desire to be approved of and to be successful (again, whatever…) because that what you’ve been conditioned on by society, you open up a lot of possibility for disappointment and despair.
That’s what’s happened to me a lot of times, which I am very thankful for, looking back at it now. Because the pain and disappointment and the suffering that came with the feeling of not being good enough led me down another path, opening up my eyes to another world. I went through pretty rough times in my early twenties, struggling a lot with my self worth, with the inability to speak about my feelings or get help, with trying to push all of this away and numbing it and with the inability to ask for help. My world kind of crumbled as I went through phases of depression, apathy and experiencing panic attacks and nervous-breakdown-like moments. In retrospect, it all had to come like this and as I said, now I am glad for everything that this way brought to me, because these dark times led me to the point of surrendering to life, leaving me with no other choice at some point. And then my life started to unfold in a different way and show me another way. In a hollywood-like moment I stumbled across the book THE POWER OF NOW by Eckhart Tolle in the gift shop of a vegetarian restaurant in Ubud, Bali (the book they sold me was a pirate copy.) You can check out other books that inspired me on my “Inspire Me” page. This book was my initiation to the spiritual world, turning my world until then upside down – I felt like walking up to the mirror that I’ve been looking at my whole life and discovering that there’s actually a whole other world behind it.
So from there I took another road, still struggling a lot over the following years but the seed had been planted and I knew I was on my way. A couple years later – today – I am still on my way and I am happy to say I am probably the closest to myself that I’ve ever been. The past years I made a lot of new experiences, met wonderful people, fed myself amazing information and made a lot of changes to my life. These days I am a lot into meditation, spirituality, personal development, leaving my comfort zone, sports, retreats, veganism, art, true human connection, nature, coaching, reading, documentaries and everything else that inspires me. I feel blessed for the turn my life has been taking and so stoked for everything that is still ahead of me.
Ending on music again, these days I really do it because I enjoy it so much. Whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen but I just get so much joy out of playing and producing music TODAY, so that it’s a lot less important what’s going to happen with it tomorrow. The feeling of singing your own songs together with an audience, sharing songs and stories and being able to produce songs to share with the world is just such a blessing and I am happy to share my joy with you guys.
I hope you enjoyed reading this tiny part of my journey, always feel free to contact me.